"Hiya there Dick Chainy.
Welcome back to the United States.
You've been gone what, 8 years now?
Well I hate to be the one to break it to you but there's been some changes and not for the good.
Remember when you left, there was that huge surplus? Gone!
Remember that terrorist Clinton warned you about? He attacked us.
Remember how you liked to visit New Orleans? The money Clinton appropriated for levee reconstruction was sent to a country called Iraq, the levee failed and NOLA citizens have been waiting 3 years now without housing.
Sit down. I've got lots to tell you about Iraq.
Let me start with this guy that calls himself a maverick but really wants to continue with more of the same.
No really. I am NOT kidding..................."