Island Girl, you wrote: "LOLa, you just don't 'get it' on any level, do you? You are obviously spoiled and priveleged and have never had a sick day in your life. You posts reveal that you take everything, including your healthcare and your job (if in fact you actually work) YOU have for granted, and leave no space for human compassion, understanding, and EMPATHY. Have you ever even felt any of these emotions? I truly doubt it, and for that I am truly sorry for you..."

Wow IG, is this sincerely you, fabricating notions like these? You have never met me, you know nothing of my background, nor my financial history and condition. Here's a sample of the me you don't know:

I started earning a likkle coin for myself in grade school, and it was always piecework. I bent the wires of tiny resistors and capacitors over a tool so they could be inserted into circuit boards that were used in control boxes. I was given a bag of 1,000 pieces at a time and I earned a quarter (25 cents!) for every hundred, while sitting in the basement, listening to the radio. Some of the shapes were pretty rough on my fingers. I grumbled tooth and nail against doing the job, and dragged it out for hours at a time. As annoying as it was and as hard as I made it, I kept with it. My parents made me put 3/4 of my earnings in the bank too, and I disliked that part even more!

As I got older I learned how to solder and I built small relays, still in the basement, still listening to the radio, still griping and moaning but not quitting. I got a few solder burns (its not recommended to wear shorts while soldering!) and sometimes I was a little lonely. But I kept at it. It turns out I was earning a work ethic, and I had no idea...

We always had chores in the house. Every weekday in the summer (and Saturdays or no school days the rest of the year) , we were given a job to do and we couldn't see our friends until it was done. And I mean some of them were real jobs - washing windows, taking apart the stove top and cleaning every crack and crevice (my mother was very finicky and the work had to pass her inspection), scrubbing the walls or the cupboards, washing the woodwork, etc. The first time I asked - so proudly at about 4 years old - if I could 'make my bed myself' - BANG - that was it, I got to do it by myself from then on, even the frickin' bedspread, which I really hated. It turns out I was earning a work ethic, and I had no idea... (and I have no bedspreads in my house!)

When I was 13 my parents had saved enough money (theirs) to put a small addition on the house. The only way they could afford to do that was we would do all the construction work ourselves except the foundation walls. We started digging the crawlspace - by hand! The land was rocky so we weren't just digging dirt, we were loading a single wheelbarrow at a time with dirt and rocks and hauling them out, in fact I think we were separating the rocks from the dirt. Somehow I got stuck out there working by myself for a while, probably caused by my complaining about life. We came to a big rock that could not be dug out nor budged with any crow bar, by any man. At that point they finally(!) hired someone with a bobcat to roust that sucker out of there, and finish the job.

I've poured concrete, installed plywood floors and roofs, inhaled and bore the itch of fiberglass insulation, built and raised trusses. As much as I hated it back then - so much that I started running away from home - those experiences have carried me through life and truly are some of my proudest achievements. It turns out I built a good work ethic and that has always bode well for me.

When I first began my search for a 'real' outside job one summer during my high school years, and didn't think I had anything to offer an employer, the one piece of advice my father gave me was:

Create your own job: find a need that somebody has and show them how you can fulfill it.

I often think of this tip, and I have learned it is true.

I attended but did not complete college. The financial arrangement my parents made with me was the 1st 2 years they would pay 1/3, I was to pay 2/3rds. If I kept going they would pay 2/3 the remaining years. During the second year we had a disagreement about my off-campus housing and after some serious soul-searching I decided to stick with my principles and give up the financial 'leverage' they had on me. I applied for grants and loans and got a work study job with the maintenance dept., which I absolutely loved. During my 3rd year I realized my heart was not in school, so I left with $10,000 debt to pay off, which of course I did, over time.

While I was in college I had no dental insurance (my family never did, and my parents still pay out of pocket for theirs, which is how they think it should be) and I don't think I had health insurance either. Several times I developed a tooth problem and just lived with the pain, for days and weeks at a time, because I didn't want to deal with it. When I'd finally go to the dentist - whose office was in his house on my street - he would chide me for waiting so long. I never thought to ask him for any sympathy for my situation, or a discount on the bill, or to do me any favors. I simply accepted it was my responsibility, I needed a service and the service cost money.

I have worked on a farm, milked and helped birthing cows and goats, weeded tiny carrots (ugh, the worst!), shoveled lots of manure, been a house parent for high school students. I once volunteered with a small group at college to dig up and de-flesh a whale that had been buried on a beach, to recover its skeleton for scientific study.

I've had several experiences of not having money, not knowing if I could keep the shelter I had, and walking home from work because I couldn't afford bus fare both ways. One time I made a $600 error (added $300 instead of subtracting) in our bankbook and it necessitated us having to move, right away, to another state to live with my (1st) husband's family. We had no money of our own, until we started a business with an old crappy van they bought, cleaning out people's basements and garages. Most of the people were very nice and some of the places were decent, but several of them were nightmares. Cockroaches, rats, people who didn't clean anything in their house, 102 degree summers. Those were the times we'd strip off our clothes and leave them outside before we went into our own house.

My first car was 12 years old when I got it, and I confess, I got a great deal, my parents sold it to me for $1 so yes, it was given to me. I think I was 27 years old. I've had 3 cars since then, only 1 was new, and the one I drive now was 3 years old when I bought it, is now 12 years old and I don't have any desire to replace it, I like it so much.

Do you remember the Great Peace March of 1986? I don't recall how I ran into those folks but they passed through Baltimore and we invited about 20 of them to stay at our apartment for several days. I got to know some of them and became involved with the Green Party and some folks out of NYC. I remember a meeting in Iowa one year, discussing if we should endorse Jesse Jackson for President. Those were some days...

Nowadays we are able to give a little money to a couple charitable causes of our choice and I look forward to being able to do much more in that regard. When my kids or their friends are doing a fundraiser we offer money instead, so they get the full benefit, and we don't need the crap they are usually selling anyway. Sometimes we help people financially, if we can afford it and feel they will handle the money responsibly. We offer our home to people when they are traveling. We like best of all, helping people who are ready to get themselves in a better situation because they are committed to the effort it takes, and so much easier to work with than someone who prefers to be stuck. We also really enjoy, just giving of ourselves; our time, our labor, our home, sharing a meal, encouraging people.

Am I privileged? I'm sure I am. I am privileged to have been raised learning how to work and do the work well. I was privileged to be given some dirty, stinkin' opportunities to discover what I was made of. I was privileged to have parents that cared more about raising a responsible adult than befriending a child. Was it all good? Hellll no. Have I had to rebuild parts of me that weren't fulfilled in childhood? You betcha. And I'm proud of that part too.

My husband grew up very poor, no father most of time, and a large family. His stepdad died when he was 10 and his mom when he was 22. No privilege there...other than the privilege of loving his family.

How are we raising our kids? With a lot of affection, serious discussions, tough love, hardly any chores, mostly because our standards are lower than our parents in that regard (and I worry they aren't learning enough how to do things we learned), and guess what - the chance to make a likkle coin doing piecework at home - while watching tv, listening to music, maybe even chatting online with their friends. And its no surprise, they struggle with it just as I did, dragging it out for hours, and griping about getting only 8 cents (.08) per piece instead of a dollar! That gives us the chance to talk about what the value of their assembly is to the rest of the product, how we have to price our goods competitively, and that we'd be charged the same or less if we outsourced it.

My son now 15, has climbed above the misery level of the work and is quite motivated to do the job to pay for his cell phone, social activities, sports equipment, special snacks, etc. He is learning that you have to work first, to get the reward and if you don't spend all of your money on everything that catches your attention, you will have some when the next thing you really want pops up, something I still struggle with. Sometimes he talks about getting a job at McDonalds or such, and we talk about the pros and cons of it. We remind him how easy he has it with his home job, and can make more money with less effort and rigidity than a regular job. So far he's still working at home.

Do I work now? You betcha. I will even saw, assemble, lift, run a machine, sweep, climb ladders, if needed. I also employ several people, which earns them an income to support their families, all of which are 2-income homes. My business is continuing to grow, even in this economy. We have been through some awful times though, and almost had to close it 3 years ago. We had to make really tough decisions that changed the foundation the company was started on, had to terminate more than half the employees, and had enormous debt to pay off, selling some equipment to help out. I have experienced things most business owners will never have to deal with. But in hindsight, all of it gives me the determination and confidence that I can keep going forward and keep improving all the time. Find a need and show people how you can fill it....

A traditional business is hard though, and I don't recommend it for most people, as there are more efficient businesses to be had. There are plenty of needs, and lots of ways to fill them...

And about Mr. & Mrs. Stuff-seller, in the movie she said 'they knew their retirement was going to be great'. So no, it doesn't sound like she was sick at the time. I have learned that all the drugs that get pushed on people are NOT beneficial. They don't treat the source of the problem, they hide or remove the symptoms of the real problem. With that many meds, I'm sure some are to offset the side-effects of others, another shortcoming of modern medication. Most dis-ease conditions have nutritional origins and hardly anyone wants to deal with that reality because it would shake up the status quo. I'm not saying that's is Mr. & Mrs.' fault, they likely don't know any better. And I still say we don't know how they did or didn't plan for their retirement, other than paying off their home and knowing she would not have insurance. The movie didn't tell us any more than that.

So you see Island Girl, I really am just a down-home rootsy kind of girl... with a creative mind and the willingness to put in a little mental, emotional and physical elbow grease to overcome the challenges of life and hopefully, inspire others to do the same.